I started my true sexual discovery just over three years ago, when I started buying sex toys and lingerie from online retailer Lovehoney. At this time, I was naive in my perceptions about sex and intimacy. Despite being in a loving relationship for many years, and married three of those, I still thought sex was something that women did to keep their husbands happy. Meanwhile wives laid back thinking about the laundry and dirty dishes in the sink. Talk about stereotypical ‘50s housewife’!
Initially, I dabbled with cheaper toys, indulging in the 3 for £10 or 2 for £20 deals. I managed to clinch a few freebies along the way through Lovehoney’s generous offers. I also tried my first ever rabbit vibrator. Though from a High Street competitor, I enjoyed this foray into combined clitoral and internal stimulation. My collection largely consisted of battery operated toys. They were made of ‘cheaper’ materials, such as plastic. I wanted to experiment with what textures, vibration styles (cue the big ‘buzzy versus rumbly’ debate) and patterns I enjoyed. More importantly, it was about finding my joy with sexual play, after seemingly going through the motions for the most part during my 20s.
I realised that good sex relied on body confidence and belief in oneself. Hence, I started buying attractive lingerie, in styles to flatter my natural curves. I appreciate the beauty of the female form, with its defined hourglass shaping. It makes me want to own one of those Jean Paul Gaultier eau de toilettes, purely for the shape of the bottle!
I joined the Lovehoney community and read fellow members’ forum posts. Here I discovered there were a lot of other like-minded individuals unsure about their sexual preferences. I was late to the Fifty Shades of Grey ‘party’, ignoring the hype, amidst the critiques of the poor writing style displayed in the series. Curiosity got the better of me however, and I decided to read the first book. The phrase ‘my inner goddess’ grated on my nerves after the first few encounters! But I found myself drawn in by the dark, bittersweet tale of Anastasia and Christian’s blossoming ‘relationship’.
I was intrigued by the Dominance / submission interplay of the two leads, and how Anastasia isn’t necessarily just a meek flowery submissive outside of the bedroom. I wanted to explore how pleasure and pain could be combined to create an altogether new ‘sexperience’. Hence my introduction to sensation play, through the use of toys. These included, but are not limited to, spanking paddles, floggers and crops.
Unfortunately my husband has not been keen on exploring this side of our sex life, (MKINYK* / YKINMK*). This in itself could be discussed in a separate post- “how to deal with getting your kicks when your significant other does not want to land ‘blows’ on you.” I digress though. I will say that I admire these toys and have started my Disciplinary / kinky toy collection, (also comprising nipple clamps and rings, clitoral clamps, bondage candles and a pinwheel). Sadly, to a large extent they remain ‘locked away’ in Bunny’s storage burrows.
Of the toys I have used from this collection, I enjoy floggers the most of all my ‘thwacky’ implements. The thud of a soft suede flogger, or the more intensive ‘thutt’ of leather tails on my buttocks is music to my ears and the warmth it creates excites me. The ‘thwack’ of a silicone butterfly landing on my butt cheek is a beat on my sexual drum. I think the whole D/s experience appeals to me, because I like theatrics. I enjoyed reading Shakespeare for my A-Level in English Literature. The role-play from acting and the atmosphere from staging a box-office production translate very well into the bedroom. Just not so much my bedroom, so in the lack of disciplinary play, I resort to other sensation play. This includes using rings or clamps on my nipples and even a clitoral clamp; perhaps the most fiddly toy I’ve encountered!
What I like about nipple play, is not so much the pain. I can handle moderate pain, though I’m by no means a ‘pain-slut.’ What I love, are the sensations that seem to go through my nipples and relay out to my nether regions, making me pulse and tingle with need. My husband knows I like nipple sensation, so he has taken to licking and sucking my mammary buds when we play together. He likes how it makes me respond to him. As do I.
This leads me on nicely to my next topic; combined stimulation. Whether its nipples and the clitoris, vagina and clitoris, anus and vagina, penis and testicles or penis and anus, there is something better about combination stimulation, rather than just one focus of attention. That is why I really enjoy oral sex with fingering at the same time; it just makes me explode.
Enter the Rabbit
I started using rabbits for this reason. My first ever rabbit was the notorious Rampant Rabbit of Sex and the City fame. I got the neon pink one, and like Charlotte from SATC, I quickly fell in love with the cute bunny with the bedroom skills of a well-endowed ‘stallion’ lover. Though I did not go to the extreme of hiding away from my friends so I could ‘get jiggy with Mr Biggy’ all the time! It did pique my curiosity enough to want to test other rabbits. Some have been pleasing, such as Tracey Cox’s Supersex USB Rechargeable Rabbit, and the Lovehoney Oh! G-spot Dream Rabbit. Others however, have failed noticeably and dismally in the cases of the Fun Factory Amorino and the Jessica Rabbit 2.0 triple rabbit respectively. These toys are discussed in more detail on the feature blog page linked above.
Suffice to say though, what I need in a rabbit is
- Length; those short stubby rabbits just don’t reach where I need them!
- Soft ears that vibrate in a good continuous way, and don’t feel either ouch-y or too tickly.
- Power! The vibe needs to take 3 AA batteries at least, or be rechargeable. No AAA-juiced bunny will give me the oomph I need to claw at the bedsheets!
- High quality materials that will be body-safe and clean easily so won’t harbour any nasty smells or retain bacteria.
- Look sexy enough to take a place in my bedroom drawers!
Ok, so the last one isn’t necessarily essential, but I like round figures and 5 features seem better than 4. It appears that I’ve tried a good selection of rabbits so far, but there are plenty others to go in my bunny hole. One I’d really like to try is a vibrating glass rabbit!
In a ‘Glass’ of its own
Glass is possibly my favourite sex toy material, as it lends itself to such gorgeous shapes and designs. The Devil’s tongue, I mean that is what I’m talking about; sex in art form! Not to mention the textures, and the sensations from warming and cooling. Sublime pleasure, from a material that is literally ‘sublimed’ sand! I once did a glass fusion workshop to make jewellery pieces, a process that I loved (who knew breaking glass could be so much fun?)! I even thought to myself at the time, “Wow, imagine making some cool dildos with fused glass!” My two favourite ranges are the Glassvibrations toys simply for their kitsch and uber-coolness, whilst Icicles are the contemporary artistic range of some fine glass dongs from Pipedream Products. And glass-handled floggers too!
Most of my glass pieces are from the Lovehoney range, because they are such good value or have been acquired through the Oh! Points scheme and as tester items. There is, however, more room for glass in Bunny’s burrow, so I look forward to trying some more in the future!
Thank you for getting this far, and I hope you return often to check out my musings on all things toy-related.
* MKINYK/ *YKINMK = My kink is not your kink / Your kink is not my kink.