Knotty play is an artform and psychological test of D/s interaction.


One form of kink I’ve been researching lately is Shibari. The ancient Japanese art of using lengths of rope to bind a person with intricate knot-work and /or for restraining purposes. Shibari literally means ‘to tie.’ It originated from the Japanese police and Samurai in the period 1400-1700. Initially a form of restraint for prisoners, it was derived from the martial art Hojo-jutsu. In the 1800s, Kinbaku, an erotic form of the practice became prevalent*. Shibari is now commonly used to describe the practice of BD/SM rope play.

What interests and excites me about the practice is that it:

A. Looks fricking awesome. The patterns that can be achieved are stunning. They are works of art in themselves on a human ‘canvas’ using rope as the ‘media’. Shibari is highly ornamental, as well as functional.

B. It involves a strong element of trust. Both from the person tying the knots, and the individual being tied. The person tying the rope  (known as the ‘rigger’) is putting their faith in their bound partner to tell them how they are feeling during the process. The person who is ‘laced up’ is trusting the Shibari practitioner. The latter needs to find out if any of the ties are uncomfortable, the rope chafes or if the position is putting too much strain on muscles.

C. The pleasure derived both from seeing the handiwork and the feeling of the rope lying on the flesh. Not only this, the psychological element of submission. The person who is bound submits themselves physically and psychologically to the Rope Master or Mistress.


The ropes are strategically placed and knotted to stimulate pressure points. A Shiatsu massage effect can be attained with some bindings. Moreover, the use of additional play equipment (floggers, paddles, vibrators among others) can increase the sensation felt by the person being bound.

Ropes that are used are commonly 5-10 metres in length, red /black/ or natural in colour. Composition of the rope is important as the fibres need to be supple and flexible enough to allow manipulation and formation of neat knots. The rope also needs to be strong; its purpose is, in addition to looking attractive, to restrain. It needs durability and to not wear excessively under strain.

Another consideration is the comfort of the individuals tying the knots and being bound. Rope-burns are not at all pleasant. Neither are they attractive. No one wants to go to the office on a Monday morning with tell-tale red marks on their limbs. That would make for awkward water cooler conversation. Elastic should not be contained in the fibres as it can make knots too tight, and trickier to undo.

Materials that tend to be used are cotton, hemp and silk. Cotton is relatively inexpensive, whilst silk is more luxurious. Both are exceedingly strong.Having the appropriate material ensures the rope-work will appear neat and well-placed (this will also depend on the skill of the Shibari practitioner).

Creating the ‘illusion’ means practice

It takes hours of patience and skill to learn to manipulate the ropes. An important feature of bindings is that they’re readily released. Meaning, as the quick-release mechanism on a bicycle saddle makes it easy to adjust the saddle’s height, so the binding of the rope ensures it is readily unbinding. If a restraint position is causing too much discomfort, or the psychological effect on the binder/ recipient is too extreme, the ropes need to be unwound quickly. This means there are not actual ‘knots’ in the rope, but the illusion of knots in some cases.

The person being bound needs to have patience too, as it can be a time- consuming art-form. The aesthetic makes it entirely worth the wait. They say a pictures speaks a thousand words. Shibari makes you feel those words…

How does Shibari make you feel? Please comment, and see if we can reach 1000 words!

* this information was accessed from on 18th June 2017


Let’s play a love game! Monogamy Board Game

Games for couples.

Adult entertainment doesn’t just have to be Netflix and pizza after the kids have gone to bed. Or even David Attenborough and beef bourgignon, if that’s the way you prefer to spend time with your loved one. In this technological age we spend so much time on electronic devices. Often we sometimes forget that we aren’t interacting with robots or AI. 

We don’t spend enough time actually sitting down, having some face-to-face connection. I was never a fan of long-winded board games such as Monopoly when I was a kid. It seemed an investment of time in something that wasn’t going to give you a fruitful ‘return.’  Asides being able to rub your playing pals’ noses in it, if you were clever enough to become the king-pin of prime board-game real-estate.

That kind of ‘win’ gives a short-lived satisfaction. In our adult lives, satisfaction can be gained through completing a ‘project’. Renovating a house or garden. Running a marathon. Earning a well-deserved new job or promotion. These kinds of achievements are great for personal development. But what about relationships? How are they kept fresh and exciting in this fast-paced age where we often pass each other like ships in the night? Between informing each other about the trials and tribulations of the work day or child-entertaining efforts at home, there is often limited ‘quality time.’

Cue adult games…these can take various formats:


I purchased this game to ignite some passion into my marriage which was starting to seem a bit formulaic in terms of bedroom antics. It was played in a ‘dummy run,’ and we seemed to enjoy the novelty of discovering each other ‘again.’

In recent times we have gotten side-tracked, negating to put in the extra effort we ought to, so the game sits on the shelf. This is a shame as it seems half-decent if not better than some other games I’ve come across.

Who said board games have to be boring?
How to play the game
  • Each player goes around the circular playing board 6 times, twice at each of the three levels; ‘intimate’ (pink), ‘passionate’ (purple) and ‘steamy’ (red).
  • There are colour-coordinated rings to place on your playing piece, helping you keep track of how many times you pass ‘GO’.
  • Every time you pass GO, you also pick up a ‘Fantasy’ card (black). You can only hold two of these in hand at a time. Extra cards picked up after the third round need to be discarded (haha, childish giggle at the play on words “‘dissing’ a card!’
  • The game ends when one of the players completes their sixth journey around the board. They get to choose their Final Fantasy, (gamers will appreciate this tongue-in-cheek, I hope). This is whichever of the two black Fantasy cards they hold in their hand at the end takes their delight.
Board layout
  • After deciding who starts the game, you each put a pink ring on your playing piece. Roll the die, and move the corresponding number of squares from the ‘GO’ square.
    • Monogamy square – pick up the colour card according to the level you’re on, i.e. pink, purple or red. Pink cards suggest questions to ask each other, e.g. ‘Think of an occasion when your partner really impressed you – tell them what it was and what they did that was so special.’ Alternatively they suggest modest acts of intimacy, e.g. ‘Demonstrate which fabric you love to feel next to your skin.’  The purple cards are more raunchy and the red cards are even hotter.
    • A gold heart branded with a ‘T’ symbolises a ‘Treat’. These are special actions you can use in the following days or weeks to maintain the intimate bond once the game is finished.
    • Plain heart square – do whatever takes your imagination; get a drink, dim the lights, powder your nose.
    • Cocktail Glass square – quench your thirst with your favourite tipple (or soft drink if you have to be ‘responsible’ or drive later).
    • Heeled shoe – Remove a piece of clothing, in a way you’re both happy with.
Level-dependent squares 
  • Lips / kiss – pretty obvious really, but scaled according to which level you’re playing. Pink = peck on cheek, purple = kiss on lips, red = a proper snog.
  • Strawberry – Eat something yourself, seductively (pink). Feed your partner. They can use a suggestive manner to seduce you (purple). Eat something from off your partner, from wherever you choose to place it (red).
  • Erotic Dancing square – Sway, gyrate or lap dance!
  • Massage Parlour square – Relaxing head / shoulder massage (pink), Sensual back / leg massage (purple), or a genital massage (red).
  • Erogenous zone square – a roll of the die chooses the body part to receive some attention, ranging from stroking / kissing / sucking and nibbling.
Thoughts on the game play

Mr Bunny and I got out the game to play last night. LED candles were switched on. Music was playing in the background. We procured ourselves some drinks and nibbles to assist with the game playing. I seemed to be particularly good at landing on the ‘M’ squares and erotic dancing square. Mr Bunny landed on quite a few ‘lips’ and massage parlour squares. Either way we both got something good out of it, whether it was a snippet of insight, a kiss or another form of body contact.

I know in the days and weeks to come that I have a few ‘treat’ ideas in store for Mr Bunny. As to who won the game, that would be telling, but in any case its safe to say there aren’t any losers!  There were one or two references to ‘old-school’ tech, for example Polaroids and camcorders. But for couples of a certain generation, it’s actually kind of funny in a nostalgic way. It certainly gave us something to giggle about, which can’t be a bad thing. We’re both looking forward to our next game!


Monogamy can be purchased from for £31.99.


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