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How to get out of a no-sex rut with your significant other

Life happens; work, kids, other commitments and so on. Your head hits the pillow at the end of a busy, tiring day, and sex is the thing of dreams (not that I remember my dreams). It’s a common theme to go through peaks and troughs in life and sex is no different. A no-sex rut is frustrating at best and damaging at worst.

Neglecting your sex life is bad for your health and mental well-being. As humans, we need physical intimacy to bond and release feel-good chemicals like oxytocin. Moreover, sex helps relieve stress and boosts our immunity, as well as improving our mood.

Hell, you don’t even need a prescription for sex (Viagra Connect can be bought over the counter now in the UK guys!) What are you waiting for, self-medicate the healthy way!

Here are my top tips to help you forget the daily strains, and focus on getting you and your love some sexy time:

  1. Dress to impress; not just for their benefit but to help you feel sexy too! If you’re feeling hot in your lace or satin, you will bring it to the party! Guys; there are lots of sexy underwear options for you as well, so join in too!
  2. Put your phone, tablets and laptops away. Or better still turn them off! Nothing kills the mood faster than, “oh let me check my work email!” Give your full attention to your love.
  3. Pay attention to the ‘journey’ not just the ‘destination.’ Treat each other to sensual touch, and delightful scents. A massage helps to relax and unwind, and also tunes your body to feel every sensation.
  4. Communicate. Ask your love to give you what you want, rather than leave them guessing. Even if they’re a long-term partner, you may want something different from them on separate occasions.
  5. Reciprocate; if they ask for something (that’s NOT one of your hard limits), then indulge them without protesting.
  6. Afterwards, talk about what worked, what didn’t and what you’d like to try another time. That way you have a starting board for the future.
  7. Say thank you! Appreciate your partner and what they just shared with you. Don’t just roll over and fall asleep. Kiss and cuddle.
  8. Schedule sex. We all have set meal times and routine works. But it doesn’t mean the act itself has to be routine. If you want to try different positions and / or props or role-play then do it!
  9. Sneak in a quickie if the kids are at an after-school club and you get home early enough. Spontaneous sex is awesome!
  10. Try different rooms in the house. Variety of setting can make even the same positions more interesting again.

I must say, I need to follow this advice. Even sex bloggers can go through a sex rut. I’ve suggested to Mr Bunny we have at least one device-free evening in the week. My biggest issue is getting him to try certain things. But I guess I’ll have to just improvise or use my imagination 😉

Do you have any tips to share for getting out of a sex rut? If so, please leave them in a comment xx

Affiliate links are used in this post. By using them you will help me earn some pennies at no extra cost to you! Thank you for your support x


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  1. Some very good tips. Certainly having a device-free evening really helps. I know I actually get a more done!

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