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What kind of sex blogger am I?

Lick-orice All-sorts

That may be a slightly unusual and abstract subheading, but us blogggers (I say ‘us’ as I consider myself to be one of the ‘gang’) are a mixture of personalities. We all have our own lifestyle preferences, sexual orientation and gender identity. Our views on myriad topics may be aired on our blogs. Recently I started wondering, what kind of sex blogger am I? Not that I believe we should be neatly and orderly categorised into discrete boxes (note I did not say discreet). No, that just won’t work for us. We are a bit like ‘unicorns.’ people want to be with us and hear about us.

I was never a popular person, and I don’t care much for these silly popularity contests that seem to be all over social media these days.

I can almost hear the phrase, “in my day!” being croaked by my inner monologue!

Joking aside, popularity contests are pointless.. You can be flavour of the hour on these platforms, following a witty tweet or a sexy picture on Instagram. Then tomorrow? Nothing. Tumbleweed. As I say, it’s more important to me, that I have my own voice and I say what I want to get out. Yes, some of it may be a bit of drivel. But I hope a reasonable percentage is sound common-sense / experience-derived wisdom. What I like to talk about is the psychology of sex. Our brain is so powerful. It controls much of our arousal. I have perhaps not discussed any aspect of the psychology of sex in great detail. It will come, I hope. I also like to talk about body confidence, self-esteem, safe sexual practices and activities that I find enjoyable. ‘Kinks’ for want of a better term.

I recently had my husband say to me, “so you think I’m Vanilla, hmph.” In case he’s reading this, I would like to clarify that he is not entirely ‘vanilla.’ I would say he has a bit of sauce and sprinkles. I’d just like a some more…

Please Sir, I’d like some more…

Before I digress entirely, I will say that for me as a blogger, I started out writing some ok-ish but perhaps not really that informative reviews on toys I had bought. There was no pressure to write amazingly elaborate posts, because I was blogging for fun. To some degree I still am. But I want more than that now. I actually want to be good at what I do when I write. It’s important to me, because when I have people asking me what toys I recommend for a certain activity I want to be able to educate people on why they should buy or avoid certain brands/ materials.

I want to help them make a choice that will suit them. Affiliate sales are all well and good, but I want the person to be really happy with that item. So they will remember that they asked for advice and received constructive ‘counsel.’ And not just about products, but also about decisions and concerns they may have. I may blog about sex, but I am a regular person with a family and a routine. I have my weaknesses. But hopefully my strengths will outnumber those. So, in essence, what kind of sex blogger do I want to be? The answer, my dears, is that I want to be the kind of blogger that people can chat to about the issues I’ve discussed above.

I do not wish to be an encyclopaedia of all things sexual. I have made mistakes, I know. I bought shoddy toys. Have been foolish at times throughout my life. But it’s more important that I learn from my mistakes. Own them, and say I can do better. I will be better. If that kind of sex blogger is not what you’re needing, I make no apology. What you see is what you get. I may be rough around the edges, but give me time to shine. Please.


This is just my random little inner monologue. I hope you’ll find it interesting. I think a lot of thoughts. And they’re not just shallow things. I hope. 

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One comment

  1. This resonates with me too! A great article, your own voice is definitely very important, that and playing to your strengths.

    I too am trying to decide which direction suits my blog best (am beginning to think maybe NOT my toy reviews, specially not compared with such in-depth posts as you and several others write). I love my erotica, my book reviews and my opinion pieces, I think perhaps I should stay and play in that arena.

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