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Relationships require work!

Quiet Reflections from Bunny

It’s been a while since I posted some of my musings. My posts of late have generally been reviews. Lucky me to have all these lovely toys to try,  and to tell you about! I appreciate for some of my readers, reviews can get a bit repetitive perhaps. They like to know a bit more about the writer behind the blog, and what makes them tick.

Whilst we’re on the ‘clock analogy; ‘I’m not exactly a ‘spring chicken’ but I do have yet to be past my ‘prime time.’ I have a few miles on me, some well-travelled; others less so. One thing I’ve learnt in my 35 years, is that if we are to live our lives to the fullest, we need to make an effort! Whether that’s a phone call with a friend we perhaps contact a couple of times a year. Or getting something special for our significant other. No matter how small or grand the gesture, it will likely be noticed.

Moreover, said effort will be appreciated. You may well be thinking, “well, I’ve not heard from so-and-so in the past 6 months. Why should I bother making the first move?” The answer could be as simple as they’ve had a really stressful or busy time. They’ve been working all hours; any free time they have is spent ‘catching up’ on life stuff or resting. Someone close to them could be unwell and depending on your friend for day-to-day help. So many reasons. Notice I say reasons. Not excuses. There’s a difference.

Excuses, excuses…

Passing up on an invitation because you’re comfortable at home and you really can’t be arsed to get dressed up and go out is an excuse. Not getting a gift or card for someone because you ‘had a lot to do’ is also an excuse. It also makes the statement, “you are not special enough to me to make the time to either come out with you or get a token surprise for you.” A pretty powerful statement.

So far I’ve been taking about general relationships. Both with friends, family and with significant others. I want to focus on the latter. How you get on with your significant other. I use this term, since you may or may not be married. You may or may not be co-habiting. And lastly I believe you are two individual people, so you are not the other one’s ‘other half.’

A contractual partnership

I happen to be married to my significant other, so that is my personal experience. We were not always married though. I did realise that marriage is ‘only a piece of paper.’ It wasn’t a contract saying my husband or I had to change ourselves to be more acceptable to the other. Nor was it a label saying that we ‘owned’ each other. We are still very much individuals. What it was and still is, however, is a contract saying that we will love, respect and cherish the other through sickness and in health, through good times and bad.

We invited our family and friends to be witnesses to these vows and to help us celebrate our union. How have these vows panned out? I find myself questioning whether I did or did not marry for the ‘proper’ reasons. I wanted and still wish for a life partner. We both wished to have a family. Somewhere along the way though, it seems our priorities have become mis-aligned.

In the main, they are in harmony; both of us strive to create a home environment we feel happy and comfortable in. We wish for our daughter to experience all she can from life, both positive and negative. We endeavour to educate her and make her aware how fortunate she is. It is also our aim to make her understand that there needs to be a strong work ethic if she wishes to succeed. Then there is the important lesson of actions and consequences.

So many lessons for a little toddler to learn. They are important though. Whilst we may be her parents and guardians in teaching her these life values, we also need to remind ourselves of them from time to time. This may be starting to sound reminiscent of the Queen’s Christmas speech, and in some ways, I like to think of it as my own version of Her Majesty’s message to Her people. My main theme is to focus on being grateful for what you have, not lamenting that which you do not.

Perfection in imperfection

None of us are perfect, nor will we ever be. But we can always work on bettering ourselves. If not for the sake of our extended families and friends, children and significant others, then at least for the sake of ourselves. We are only here once so we need to make every day count. That means living the best life we can, and making the effort! This could be as simple as paying someone a compliment. One that is sincere and unconditional. You can tell someone how much they mean to you. It’s easy to think, “well they already know that!” That’s not to say you cannot make the effort to remind them.

Like any living being, a relationship needs nourishment and light to grow. If it is neglected and left to be overgrown with weeds, it will wither and die. Feed your relationship to keep it healthy, and hopefully you’ll live a long,  fulfilling life together. It won’t necessarily always be easy. But those things most important to us usually require effort. In return, they bring the most reward.


The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: ‘could have, might have, and should have.’ ~ Louis E. Boone

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