Recently I had a Twitter poll to canvas my readers’ thoughts on adult parties /swingers events. The response was mixed in that out of 10 voters, 2 said they would be happy to share their experience, whilst 4 said they’d never been to such an event. The remaining 4 would rather not reveal anything.
Below are some responses I had via email from one anonymous contributor.
Disclaimer: The featured image is reproduced from Flickr, courtesy of Michel Curi.
How did you first get into the ‘swingers’ scene?
I have attended a few different clubs, both with a previous partner and, subsequently as a single male. As a couple we had arranged to meet other couples at the venue. Each time, thankfully they did turn up! Believe me it can be a nervous time if you arrive first and are hoping you haven’t been stood up! I’m sure you can appreciate mobiles are banned in the clubs.
What was the experience like?
With my partner, we met the couples that we’d planned to meet, before having a drink and a chat. Once the ice was broken, we would all ‘head off to a room.’
The whole place early in the evening often has a very laid-back feel; lots of couples chatting with other couples and singles. Essentially mingling, like a night out in a bar but in this case a ‘bar with benefits.’
Once in the room and locked in, the fun can begin! I’ve been lucky enough to experience a few 3/4/more-somes behind closed doors. I find it an even bigger turn-on knowing that you can be heard but not seen (or maybe you can!)
Some clubs do offer rooms with windows for those more voyeuristic among us. Our first visit was particularly pleasing to the ears! Groups of three or more would disappear, a door would lock then soon after the air would be filled with an orgasmic soundbite! There were also the firm slaps of hand/whip/paddle on rump, leaving you to imagine what was happening.
Once out the room, no one appeared to embarrassed, and a bit of banter would be exchanged:
“Sounded like you had fun in there…”
“Oh yeah, that was insane!”
Following a drink or two we’d exchange numbers with our new ‘friends,’ thank them and say our parting greetings. It was fun to anticipate future encounters!
What should I be aware of, if I were attending a party for the first time?
Be aware you will be approached by single males, it’s a given; they are there for that reason: sex. You will be propositioned, hopefully respectfully, but you do get the odd ‘bad egg.’ They will be very handsy from the outset. In my experience, most single males are forthcoming in approach and will accept a polite “no, thank you.”
Some clubs do have open playrooms so if you aren’t getting physical attention there is usually live action to take in. General etiquette applies; look, but don’t touch, at least until you have had 100% verbal confirmation that you may. The same goes for other physical contact, be it kissing, licking, fondling or offering any part of your person to another.
For the most part, I have never seen anything get unpleasant. Everyone I have seen in a viewing capacity appears very respectful of the performers. More often than not, in my experience your patience and respect is rewarded!
What is your advice to single males in particular?
If you are attending as a single male, I’d give a few pieces of advice:
- Be patient.
- Anticipate that you may not physically ‘do’ anything on the first visit.
- Chat to the ‘locals,’ even if they are all the same gender. Try to make a few friends / contacts to find out when a good time to revisit would be.
- Very rarely have I been approached by ladies or couples. I have been on a few occasions by other males and trans people. Don’t be offended if that is not your thing as they don’t necessarily know your persuasion.
I have had a detailed conversation with a transvestite about diesel particle filters, while at a club before heading to a dungeon room with a couple to tie up the lady. Yes, really!
Many of the couples and single ladies in attendance will have made plans previously to meet someone specific. They will not always want ‘something while they are waiting’ or indeed ‘afterwards once you have been warmed up!’
Do you use online forums to arrange meetings?
Most people that I have met in clubs have been on fabswingers.com. A lot of venues / clubs have an online presence via ‘fab.’ By way of the meetings menu on fab, you can potentially see who may be intending to visit where and when. Sending a quick message or two to strike up a pre-club conversation is a good way to potentially arranging a future date!
Having been to clubs as a single male I know it can be hard. I am in no way an expert, but I hope my experiences may help anyone thinking about attending. After my first time ‘flying solo’ I didn’t see any personal action but did leave with more of an idea how the next visit would potentially pan out. Before my subsequent event, I checked out potential visitors on fabswingers so I could chat (and a bit more) with a few people. This way, I was able to make a few more ‘special friends’ and experiences.
Essentially I go to swingers events as this is one potential way to find willing participants for a threesome / group sex, in a safe environment. I find it a pleasurable way to indulge myself once in a while, and I can have a very memorable night!
Thank you to my anonymous contributor for sharing their insight and advice! If you enjoyed reading this, you may like to check out the following post: A Party with the Clitoratti.